Myself Endo And Me

Reflexology.... I have been suffering really badly over the past 8 months with severe chronic pain caused by my endometriosis. I had a laparoscopy in April that included a diagnostic cystoscopy. I had been in so much pain for so long that I was certain that this operation was going to fix it, or atleast give me some pain free months/years. The specialist had told me my symptoms strongly pointed towards endometriosis on the bladder and behind the womb causing my tilted uterus. They were very confident that with excision surgery they could help remove some or all of my pain. The operation didn't go to plan. The endometriosis in my pouch of douglas had not regrown. The implants that had been diathermized had stayed the same and my bladder had no signs of endometriosis inside.They had no reason for why my pain levels had increased. The outcome was bleak to say the least. When I came round and spoke with my surgeon I was devastated. I had been so sure that they were going to help me,

I saw this link on my Facebook feed and it struck a chord within the first few words. Over the past few years since I had it confirmed that I had endometriosis, I have read many blogs, links, posts and medical journals. All of them have given me more meaning, knowledge, strength but only a few have brought me to tears. This one definitely did!  The post isn't aimed at women with endometriosis however, reading the first description I could hear my voice speaking the words. I felt the pain as if it were my own emotions poured out on to the virtual page. My breath caught on the words as she describes how she cries because she has an empty space in her body, how her medication she has to take stops her from falling pregnant. It spoke to me in a very personal way. I then went on to read the rest and surprisingly I started to understand how many other women who have been blessed with children may not have as full a life I believed they must! I started to see that what would mean the

Good Afternoon All. I hope you are all enjoying a Pain free bank holiday and able to enjoy the beautiful sunshine. I have had a pretty busy Bank holiday so far. With working in retail I do end up working a majority of the bank holidays. This one however I have been very lucky! I have managed to swing 2 of the 4 days  off. Yesterday I had a wonderful day with my sister-in-law at her baby shower. As I have mentioned in previous posts I have a rather large family. I  have 9 nieces and nephews already and have 2 more due in 5 weeks time. The shower I went to yesterday was for my new nephew. Its the first baby shower I have ever been too. It hasn't really been a big thing in England until recently. I have to say I really enjoyed it, apart from the baby food tasting game yuck!  Usually at these kind of things I get really nervous. I feel this way because bringing life in to this world is a wonderful thing that I am unable to do. From a very young age I knew that one day I would be

I finally have my new Mac!!! I am so happy, you never realise how much you miss something until you don't have it.  So much of our lives revolve around 24 hour communication with access to this via mobile phones, tablets, computers and the rest. When a part of that chain is missing it feels like our link to the outside world and family has broken. Silly really when we managed so well without it for so many years.  I am definitely part of the new world generation! I couldn't do what I do every day without it.  So Today has been a long one. After a day of pain I decided to get an early night with a hot water bottle (yes in this weather!) and some strong codeine to top up my pain meds. Usually this would mean a night of deep unmovable sleep, this time however that wasn't the case. A restless night with an early wake up call meant I wasn't in the best of moods....... I also woke up to the same agonising pain I had fallen asleep with. With that and a full days wor

I don't remember how I came across this picture. All I remember is that it is by an artist who is a fellow endo survivor! It's how she sees her endometriosis. On days like today I like to look at this for some strange reason it calms me. Today I have been full of pain. Pain in my lower back -crippling enough to make bending and kneeling unbearable. Pain in my ovaries like thousands of tiny needles stabbing them all at once and pain in my legs like a constant ache that's made me so tired, like walking around all day with lead weights attached to my legs! On days like these when I barely make it through my work let alone get home and in bed before I collapse, this picture makes me calm. Yes the picture depicts pain! An entangled web that attaches itself to all that it touches. The venom in the dragons face as it spits it's web of pain. The darkness of the tree depicting a damaged and dying womb. I also see light from the window brightening the room, I see the calming

I have read so many articles, books, blogs, medical publishes all about endometriosis and pcos over the past 8 years in the faint hope that one of them would have a miracle cure for the pain. I am sorry to tell you I haven't found one yet! Of all the side effects and symptoms these illnesses cause me (fatigue, weight gain, excess hair, hair loss, infertility, depression to name but a few) pain is by far the worst one! It has got to the point where I don't even know how many pain killers I take when it's a bad day. Recently I started to think that maybe the naproxen and morphine patches I take for the pain were not actually working. I was having so many bad days, so many painful days that I forgot what a pain free day was like. So, before I went to the doctors (again) I tried a little experiment. I stopped taking my naproxen for a week to see if the pain was any different without them? I guess I assumed that they were not making a difference due to the level of pain I h

Evening all!  Well today has been a long one!  My mac is sadly still unwell, you don't realise how much you miss it until it's gone. Hopefully will be back with me by Friday - I can't wait 😁 Today I have been suffering with what I like to call a "case of the violets!!" For any of you out there born in the eighties you will fondly remember the original film of willy wonka and the chocolate factory. The one filled with musical treats and not the much edgier (scary) Johnny depp version. It's days like these when my jeans are all of a sudden too tight (even though the scales confirm I have not miraculously put on half a stone in 24 hours) and I feel like I've been pumped up with a bycycle pump,  I'm reminded of violet turning violet and very round indeed!!  I really couldn't think of a better way to describe Endo Belly!! The uncomfortable feeling you get is. Immense! If you are like me you feel the need to have to hide it with big and baggy c

So here goes my first post....  Well I have to admit that during my set up last night my computer decided it had worked too hard and shut down on me 😡 Not the best timing!! So I'm working on getting it sorted until then I have limited access on smart phones and tablets.  It's been a hard week... After having my second operation a month ago I have been left in a dark place. This has not had a great impact on my work and I'm suffering the fall out at the moment but the suns out and this makes me positive and happy!! The moment I knew that the pain I had been living wasn't in my head but was a life changing condition, I decided that I wasn't going to let it win.... I don't loose and I won't loose to endometriosis!! I will fight it every step it takes! Keep looking for that sunshine and have a wonderful day ☀️